A Pre-Menstrual Stream of Consciousness

A ten-minute cross sectional depiction of the pre-menstrual female mind in real time. 

02:37 PM IST

Can people really be so careless about punctuation? I mean, it's only a comma for God's sake. Proof-reading is shitty business. Wait. I AM getting paid for this right? I'm not going to do more charity. Like seriously, I'm so broke. 

Oh shit! I was supposed to go shopping today! I wonder when she'll have a holiday again. And BRUUUNNNNNCH! I forgot brunch with Kums! Not that it makes any difference now, I only woke up at 11 and. 

Shit, I haven't showered. Why hasn't mum yelled at me yet? What's the bloody time! Oh, where's lunch? Not that I want to eat more rice, I've gained enough weight already. Like seriously! Can you see that damn flab? And when I go back to the hostel, I'll just have to eat even more rice. 

Is my stomach hairier than usual? Is that even possible? I wonder where K* gets her stomach waxed. I mean, who even does that? 

I've got to go to the parlour, by the way. I have no idea when, though. Just before I leave, perhaps (?) so I can be all silken smooth in time for New Years'? But WHENNNN? 

I'm due on the 24th! I'm due on the 24th! I don't want the parlour lady looking up at my period panties when she's waxing my legs. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!

WHERE IS MY BOYFRIENDDDDDDDD? WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BOYFRIEND WHEN I FUCKING NEED HIM? I WANNA DO IT NOWWWWWWWWWWWW!

I wish he'd just hold me, you know. I don't want to cry. Okay, don't cry! I'm not going to cry! Shit! I'm about to cry! Stop!

I miss him, okay? What do you want me to do? There was that one time I was pretending to sleep and he sat by my pillow and stroked my hair and all.... Oh S-H-I-T-E, was that this boyfriend? It was this boyfriend only, no???? THINK, THINK!

Abba. Yes, it was this boyfriend only. He was wearing that blue shirt I hate so much. Okay, okay. Disaster averted. I just wish he'd do it more often. 

But by the time I go back, he'll have moved to the other room. The one with the bathroom but without the balcony. Hmmm. I see the pros and cons there. 

OH SHIT! WHERE ARE WE GOING TO HANG THE CLOTHES TO DRY?

~Fin~

02:47 PM IST