When you really think about it-
You know the days that make you blue, you know the red days, the dead days, the bright yellow sunshine days, and the pale green sickie days. You know you're a different person every day and every minute, but you also know you're the same. There is no explaining the you-ness of you. Nobody will ever get it (sometimes not even you). So, you're happy to let the world think that you're a certain set of characteristics and you can live up to that projected image.
Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to hold with everybody. The people who love you tend to love you excessively and the people who hate you tend to trample you more than necessary. To many, you are only "dear", "sweetest", and "darling"; and to the blessed few, you are "bitch", "pussy" and "chicken". I can close my eyes and easily recall a long list of people and put them under the following labels: Uptight, Gossip-monger, Compulsive stoner, Hyper-masochist a**-hole, Simpleton... For all my preaching, I DO have a big bunch of people with one-term labels.
This, I can easily justify for myself and for everybody- we need to sort things out inside our head and keep them categorized at some level. You aren't pre-loaded with Excel, extendable memory storage and a huge RAM. You have to keep the mess of information as simple as possible to avoid lunacy.
Life is too short for us to understand ourselves, let alone other people. And we NEVER remember that everybody else is fighting the same battle. We're too egocentric in our need to be understood and hence, we become vulnerable to offence.
We are never going to understand the nature of our existence completely. So, as long as no real harm is being done to you, build yourself some objectivity and allow space for other people to use their one-term labels. It's an absolutely necessary evil for sane survival. I guess if we understood this enough, we would attack people lesser and we would even perceive lesser attacks upon ourselves. Acknowledge, kindly, that other people are spectra within themselves. If you can't find the time or make the effort to get to know them better than their label, at least don't hold it up against them. Keep it to yourself as a matter of fact, without malice. Find it in yourself to be tolerant, if not loving.
Lately, there has been a little something going around in lieu of Teachers' Day. People are naming the ten people who made an impact on their lives. I don't think it's any different from picking out your favourite colours. I mean no offence to the people or this practice. It's a very good thing to remember the ones who have changed you for the better. But the point I'm trying to make is, EVERYBODY changes you for the better. Every person has a certain impact upon you. You may not like the presence of some of them in your life, but you've got to see this much- people are either inspiring you to be something better or motivating you to not become worse (thus enabling you to stay better). Unless you don't want to be better (which of course, you don't), you can perceive people's presence in your life as a good thing in every little way.
"Being", in itself, can be infinitely more easier if you could just discount the by-products of the human condition. Zooming out a little, you can see that there is little point to being any "-ist". No point to being Racist or Feminist or Idealist. You have enough trouble just being yourself. Kindly concentrate on that first. Be not insecure that someone at the other end of the spectrum is bad-mouthing you. You are not isolated. You are always surrounded by the colourful people of the same wavelength. As for the others, allow them their bandwidth.
Like my friend Vivek says, "Men should stop being masochists, women should stop being feminists, and everyone should just write code!". To paraphrase, let go of your impositions of the ideal world. Kindle your passion and work on something that you care about. Make the world a special place in your own way. We cannot change colour at the moment, but we can hope to hit another prism in the evolutionary timeline and become, even if for a moment, united to colourlessness again.
[Also read Vivek's own brand of gyaan. Common sense these days needs to be put back in perspective:
Vivek's note]
You know the days that make you blue, you know the red days, the dead days, the bright yellow sunshine days, and the pale green sickie days. You know you're a different person every day and every minute, but you also know you're the same. There is no explaining the you-ness of you. Nobody will ever get it (sometimes not even you). So, you're happy to let the world think that you're a certain set of characteristics and you can live up to that projected image.
Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to hold with everybody. The people who love you tend to love you excessively and the people who hate you tend to trample you more than necessary. To many, you are only "dear", "sweetest", and "darling"; and to the blessed few, you are "bitch", "pussy" and "chicken". I can close my eyes and easily recall a long list of people and put them under the following labels: Uptight, Gossip-monger, Compulsive stoner, Hyper-masochist a**-hole, Simpleton... For all my preaching, I DO have a big bunch of people with one-term labels.
This, I can easily justify for myself and for everybody- we need to sort things out inside our head and keep them categorized at some level. You aren't pre-loaded with Excel, extendable memory storage and a huge RAM. You have to keep the mess of information as simple as possible to avoid lunacy.
Life is too short for us to understand ourselves, let alone other people. And we NEVER remember that everybody else is fighting the same battle. We're too egocentric in our need to be understood and hence, we become vulnerable to offence.
We are never going to understand the nature of our existence completely. So, as long as no real harm is being done to you, build yourself some objectivity and allow space for other people to use their one-term labels. It's an absolutely necessary evil for sane survival. I guess if we understood this enough, we would attack people lesser and we would even perceive lesser attacks upon ourselves. Acknowledge, kindly, that other people are spectra within themselves. If you can't find the time or make the effort to get to know them better than their label, at least don't hold it up against them. Keep it to yourself as a matter of fact, without malice. Find it in yourself to be tolerant, if not loving.
Lately, there has been a little something going around in lieu of Teachers' Day. People are naming the ten people who made an impact on their lives. I don't think it's any different from picking out your favourite colours. I mean no offence to the people or this practice. It's a very good thing to remember the ones who have changed you for the better. But the point I'm trying to make is, EVERYBODY changes you for the better. Every person has a certain impact upon you. You may not like the presence of some of them in your life, but you've got to see this much- people are either inspiring you to be something better or motivating you to not become worse (thus enabling you to stay better). Unless you don't want to be better (which of course, you don't), you can perceive people's presence in your life as a good thing in every little way.
"Being", in itself, can be infinitely more easier if you could just discount the by-products of the human condition. Zooming out a little, you can see that there is little point to being any "-ist". No point to being Racist or Feminist or Idealist. You have enough trouble just being yourself. Kindly concentrate on that first. Be not insecure that someone at the other end of the spectrum is bad-mouthing you. You are not isolated. You are always surrounded by the colourful people of the same wavelength. As for the others, allow them their bandwidth.
Like my friend Vivek says, "Men should stop being masochists, women should stop being feminists, and everyone should just write code!". To paraphrase, let go of your impositions of the ideal world. Kindle your passion and work on something that you care about. Make the world a special place in your own way. We cannot change colour at the moment, but we can hope to hit another prism in the evolutionary timeline and become, even if for a moment, united to colourlessness again.
[Also read Vivek's own brand of gyaan. Common sense these days needs to be put back in perspective:
Vivek's note]
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