04:36 AM
My real problem is that I have drunk far too much coffee to be able to sleep. I cannot. I am wide awake, tossing in bed for over an hour. And my mind is very, very active. Like it always does, it is thinking of all the things under the sun, regardless of what relevance it may have in reality.
I am thinking about lust. I am thinking about what I would do if someone grabbed my ass on a crowded bus.
What I would do is not something people would normally do. But knowing me, imaginary setting or not, I WOULD ACTUALLY DO WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY (Very powerful Drama Queen Genes, I have):
I would turn around and look him in the eye and say "If you really HAVE TO grab my ass, at least do it like it is supposed to be done." (momentary pause) "If you don't know how to use your fingers, how will you pleasure your woman?" (wait for incoherent, indignant blabber) (Laugh briefly but deliriously. Must sound like I just spit in his face)
"A real man can talk to a woman and actually get her. A man who grabs asses will only grab asses for the rest of his life. Speaking of... (MAJORLY TURN ON SEXY VOICE) what have you got there?" (Very slowly, very deliberately trace fingers from the front of his body, around the waist and into his back pocket. Almost grab his ass. Pull his wallet out instead, very quickly) (Expect a startled response)
"Shh" (It helps to put a finger on his lips. Yuck. But helps) "I don't want your money" (Pull out any ID card. Preferably a government ID)
"I'm going to get off at the next stop and leave this at the (name of nearest police station). Go pick it up from there" (Expect immediate protest. MAJORLY TURN ON SCARY ANGRY VOICE.)
"If I hear so much as a WORD from you!" (Glare. By now he is convinced you are someone powerful/with powerful connections)(Point a finger at him. Keep it there for five seconds minimum. Do not break eye contact)
*
I know all this sounds very fancy. Very improbable. But you have to believe me when I say that I will do it. I'm that kind of a girl who is extremely comfortable in her own body. If a man touches me, no matter how inappropriately or how unexpectedly, it would really not affect me. I am full of hormones and I am reeking of sensuality. It is both my blessing and my curse. A curse because sometimes I can't figure out whether my behaviour is due to hormones or whether it is an undiluted expression of my femininity. I am the kind of girl who flirts with three men simultaneously, in the same space. I am the girl who is not bothered about who's looking when I wink at a man across the crowd. I am the girl who does not break eye contact. I am everybody's definition of an 'easy','slut'. Put a Scarlet A on my door.
But what I am is my greatest strength. My biggest defence.
We have karate classes at the ladies' hostel I live in. I haven't attended them. When a friend asked me "Why not?", I said to him "Defence is a mental thing". I may be wrong, in your opinion. But I strongly believe it is. No matter how hard I train, my strength will never be equal to that of one or more men. I'm built that way. Average height and almost no upper body strength. And that is exactly the case with most women.
Women have been oppressed for ages. And for VERY GOOD REASON. Because, if we knew how to be ourselves and not be what society taught us to be, we would be pure danger. If men have managed to oppress us, it is only by sheer muscle power. But their internal constitution is as strong as the contents of a baby's diaper.
Just for ONE MINUTE, I want you to forget what society taught you about how a woman should be. Think of a man who hates you, or someone who has told you outright that they're not attracted to you. Think of a man in a very formal relationship with you, or has even claimed to be your father figure. Hell, think of any man you please. All it takes for you is the brush of one finger-tip, for one second, over one inch of his skin. Game Over. If you mean it to be a sexual expression, it will definitely work. Sometimes, you don't even have to mean it.
The problem with most women is that they are afraid of letting slip the fact that they are sexual beings. Okay, so you don't have to do it with every guy who passes by. But acknowledge the fact that it is the single, most powerful force that exists in the male-female dynamics. Use it to your advantage. If a man letches, do not be afraid of letching back. Showing them that you are angry will only give them a kick out of it. But showing them that you have greater sexual perversion will completely put them off.
Learn how to grab a crotch without hurting anything but their ego. It's not a man's balls, but a man's ego where it hurts most. Kick it hard.
Make this your new Mantra: "Is that the best you can do?". Men always tend to overestimate their sexual skills and they worry more about performance than about putting a meal on the table. No matter what happens, be brave enough to look him in the eye and say "Is that really the best you can do?"
Do not lose your temper. Use all that energy to implement your Right to Equality to Sexually Harass.
I have not been raped (in the traditional sense, at least), and I can't claim to know how horrifying that is. But I've been harmed in moderation, enough for myself to be insensitive about my own body. As I understand, anything that happens to my body can be healed. But what I have is a mind of steel. It can never be tarnished, but what it contains can corrode everything. Of the many strengths my mind possesses, one of the greatest is my crass fearlessness for sexual expression. I take pride in being the 'easy','slut' that I am. It was neither easy nor of any pride to the mother who raised me, in order for me to get there.
But I know this- If a man ever manages to physically overpower me and rape me, he's only a weakling looking to validate himself. And when he is done, for all the trouble he took to commit a serious crime without thinking twice, I am going to say "Is that really the best you can do?".
06:03 AM
My real problem is that I have drunk far too much coffee to be able to sleep. I cannot. I am wide awake, tossing in bed for over an hour. And my mind is very, very active. Like it always does, it is thinking of all the things under the sun, regardless of what relevance it may have in reality.
I am thinking about lust. I am thinking about what I would do if someone grabbed my ass on a crowded bus.
What I would do is not something people would normally do. But knowing me, imaginary setting or not, I WOULD ACTUALLY DO WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY (Very powerful Drama Queen Genes, I have):
I would turn around and look him in the eye and say "If you really HAVE TO grab my ass, at least do it like it is supposed to be done." (momentary pause) "If you don't know how to use your fingers, how will you pleasure your woman?" (wait for incoherent, indignant blabber) (Laugh briefly but deliriously. Must sound like I just spit in his face)
"A real man can talk to a woman and actually get her. A man who grabs asses will only grab asses for the rest of his life. Speaking of... (MAJORLY TURN ON SEXY VOICE) what have you got there?" (Very slowly, very deliberately trace fingers from the front of his body, around the waist and into his back pocket. Almost grab his ass. Pull his wallet out instead, very quickly) (Expect a startled response)
"Shh" (It helps to put a finger on his lips. Yuck. But helps) "I don't want your money" (Pull out any ID card. Preferably a government ID)
"I'm going to get off at the next stop and leave this at the (name of nearest police station). Go pick it up from there" (Expect immediate protest. MAJORLY TURN ON SCARY ANGRY VOICE.)
"If I hear so much as a WORD from you!" (Glare. By now he is convinced you are someone powerful/with powerful connections)(Point a finger at him. Keep it there for five seconds minimum. Do not break eye contact)
*
I know all this sounds very fancy. Very improbable. But you have to believe me when I say that I will do it. I'm that kind of a girl who is extremely comfortable in her own body. If a man touches me, no matter how inappropriately or how unexpectedly, it would really not affect me. I am full of hormones and I am reeking of sensuality. It is both my blessing and my curse. A curse because sometimes I can't figure out whether my behaviour is due to hormones or whether it is an undiluted expression of my femininity. I am the kind of girl who flirts with three men simultaneously, in the same space. I am the girl who is not bothered about who's looking when I wink at a man across the crowd. I am the girl who does not break eye contact. I am everybody's definition of an 'easy','slut'. Put a Scarlet A on my door.
But what I am is my greatest strength. My biggest defence.
We have karate classes at the ladies' hostel I live in. I haven't attended them. When a friend asked me "Why not?", I said to him "Defence is a mental thing". I may be wrong, in your opinion. But I strongly believe it is. No matter how hard I train, my strength will never be equal to that of one or more men. I'm built that way. Average height and almost no upper body strength. And that is exactly the case with most women.
Women have been oppressed for ages. And for VERY GOOD REASON. Because, if we knew how to be ourselves and not be what society taught us to be, we would be pure danger. If men have managed to oppress us, it is only by sheer muscle power. But their internal constitution is as strong as the contents of a baby's diaper.
Just for ONE MINUTE, I want you to forget what society taught you about how a woman should be. Think of a man who hates you, or someone who has told you outright that they're not attracted to you. Think of a man in a very formal relationship with you, or has even claimed to be your father figure. Hell, think of any man you please. All it takes for you is the brush of one finger-tip, for one second, over one inch of his skin. Game Over. If you mean it to be a sexual expression, it will definitely work. Sometimes, you don't even have to mean it.
The problem with most women is that they are afraid of letting slip the fact that they are sexual beings. Okay, so you don't have to do it with every guy who passes by. But acknowledge the fact that it is the single, most powerful force that exists in the male-female dynamics. Use it to your advantage. If a man letches, do not be afraid of letching back. Showing them that you are angry will only give them a kick out of it. But showing them that you have greater sexual perversion will completely put them off.
Learn how to grab a crotch without hurting anything but their ego. It's not a man's balls, but a man's ego where it hurts most. Kick it hard.
Make this your new Mantra: "Is that the best you can do?". Men always tend to overestimate their sexual skills and they worry more about performance than about putting a meal on the table. No matter what happens, be brave enough to look him in the eye and say "Is that really the best you can do?"
Do not lose your temper. Use all that energy to implement your Right to Equality to Sexually Harass.
I have not been raped (in the traditional sense, at least), and I can't claim to know how horrifying that is. But I've been harmed in moderation, enough for myself to be insensitive about my own body. As I understand, anything that happens to my body can be healed. But what I have is a mind of steel. It can never be tarnished, but what it contains can corrode everything. Of the many strengths my mind possesses, one of the greatest is my crass fearlessness for sexual expression. I take pride in being the 'easy','slut' that I am. It was neither easy nor of any pride to the mother who raised me, in order for me to get there.
But I know this- If a man ever manages to physically overpower me and rape me, he's only a weakling looking to validate himself. And when he is done, for all the trouble he took to commit a serious crime without thinking twice, I am going to say "Is that really the best you can do?".
06:03 AM
Post-editing note: I mean only the men who mean us harm. While men can be sexually manipulated, those who have a productive life are absolute gems. I know quite a few of them personally :-P
